Is it empathetic? Is it constructive?

A couple of years ago I was struggling to know how to respond to a situation where I felt hurt and betrayed by someone so my therapist gave me a piece of paper with these words on it and they’ve stayed with me ever since.  

How hard they’ve been to follow has mostly depended on my level of awareness and understanding of human behaviour, or more specifically the nature of the human ego. Without that these words simply become another internal battle to wrestle with.

It hasn’t always been easy but over time I’ve learnt to recognise that it ALWAYS works out better when I stop, bring awareness to my internal reaction and any subsequent impulsive external reactions that arise. 

From there I have more time and space to decipher what is an egoic reaction from my learnt conditioning and what is from a deeper place.

Nowadays that shortcut seems to get faster and faster, freeing me from the stress and negativity those situations once might have caused.

It seems nothing in life holds greater potential for change than perfectly simple non-judgemental awareness (for both yourself and others). 

Give it a try next time a negative reaction occurs in you and see if you can hold that space long enough to ask yourself these two simple questions before you respond.